Updated: April 18, 2024

The Tale of King Kassius Grabus

The heroic tales of King Kassius and his battles with bureaucracy.

When we last heard of King Monopolus, he was trampled and passed away when his castle was stormed. His son, Kassius Grabus, now heir to the throne, had reached the age of 19. He was ready to take over the Prussian Grolov Kingdom for his beloved father and grandfather, King Alloy III.

When his father met his demise, Prince Kassius had been roaming the countryside in search of a new way to wrap the handle of his soldiers’ broadswords because they were slipping out of their hands. He found that the skin of a simple garter snake and a mix of soot and sap provided the perfect blend of comfort and grip.

However, the War Counsel declared that a sword could only be wrapped in a sure way to make it compliant. The War Counsel stamp on the tang could not be covered.

This bothered Kassius greatly, as the declaration served no purpose in his eyes. “Why would the War Counsel do this?” he wondered. “What is their motivation?”

Despite this new development, King Kassius became aware of rumors criticizing the decisions of the War Counsel and its leader, Lord Unitas Saint Stephen Swarthmore Abington. Known commonly as “Unitas Thrice” for short, Lord Unitas and his secret conglomerate were tasked with approving all weapons for battle. There was one problem, though. There were no scrolls written in the Kingdom archives of any testing protocols. Be it man or Minotaur, no one could figure out what methods were used to test swords, maces, shields, and chain mail. Most all were always deemed war-compliant. How could that be? More importantly, what was not war-compliant?

This bothered King Grabbius. He began to wonder if there should be more clarity on this. He thought this was an excellent opportunity to make things right and win back the public trust.

While he began to attend other matters of State, King Grabbius held a meeting with his most trusted advisors and spies. Kingdom archives reveal that no minutes were taken of this meeting, but it was held to infiltrate the War Counsel.

Led by Lord Redwood of the Salty Lake region, he and his men planned to surveil the War Counsel’s next meeting to determine what had been transpiring as of late.

On the night of April 1, 115, Lord Redwood and his grapplers climbed the War Counsel’s walls and onto the castle landing.

From a distance, the voices of men and Minotaurs could be heard. Glasses were clinking. Singing could be heard. A meeting sounded like a party.

“We are the War Counsel.
We do just what we may.
We’ll cut a deal if we feel,
As long as you pay for our next meal.”

Lord Redwood’s men neutralized three armed guards in front of the landing door.

With his team behind him, Lord Redwood slowly moved towards the door. From the banter he heard, there was no concern for a fight.

Lord Redwood opened the door. A collective gasp was heard throughout the room. The singing stopped, and a chalice fell to the floor.

“By order of King Cassius Grabus, you are hereby commanded to cease all operations of the War Counsel until your scrolls and minutes have been examined by the King’s scholars. All things relating to the testing of war components shall be furnished. You may be required to stand trial.”

The War Counsel went silent, but a few Minotaur snorts could be heard.

Lord Redwood made two notable observations. The first was an inordinate amount of gold and silver bars, along with rubies, diamonds and pearls on the table. This was not a common place to store such treasure — as if they had been provided that night.

Second, a mysterious person in a red cloak who was not part of the War Counsel was seated at the far end of the table.

Lord Redwood thought to himself:

Who was this person?
Where were they from?
Why were they here? Did they bring the treasure?

Suddenly, the red cloak collapsed and dropped to the floor. After a large puff of smoke and a loud crack, the person was gone.

At this point, Lord Redwood realized he had many more questions than answers…